Thursday, July 10, 2014

Why I Choose to be a Stay at Home Mom

In our lives, we all have faced momentous decisions. We all have reasons behind those decisions we made. This is my path. All MOMS ARE GREAT IN WHAT THEY DO, Working from home or outside the home and stay at home moms. This post is NOT intended to criticize your choice. I am not here to judge. These are mine and my husband's personal decisions.

We all differ on how we decide on certain things,including staying at home or not. HOWEVER, This doesn't mean that my chosen path is better than yours, or my decision is right and yours is not. This my calling. On several occasions ,  I have been asked if Rob , my husband was okay with me not working.  I was also asked if staying at home is hard on us financially... when will I go back to work... do I miss working.. do our kids drive me nuts..what do I do all day.



So I am sharing our reasons why I chose to stay at home and why staying with our girls is a gift.

1. Rob and I wanted the same thing. I have his 110 % support.   Family, relatives and friends live far away from us, and even if we would have all the help we can get. We will still choose this path , for me to stay home with the kids. We want to be the ones who call the shots, we want to be the first in command when it comes to raising them. There is a huge advantage of having help, don't get me wrong. Its just that we do not have that option. Sure, being able to have date nights would be nice once in a while but it would still  boil down to -- we both want for me, to be able to stay at home for the kids.

2. I don't want to miss a thing , and this is my personality.  ( again, I am not saying that moms who work wouldn't want the same. ) They seriously grow like weeds! They grow up so fast. These early moments and all of  their " firsts ". ..I want to be there. I want to capture it.  There is a short window for me to build a strong relationship , bond and foundation. First five years matters.  Ive seen our girls first smile , heard their  first words, witnessed the first time they learned how to walk . I am their first kiss. I heard  their first .."w u v" you mama . I fed them first..Ive seen how precious it is to feed them with pureed green beans and at the same time how dirty it can get to teach a toddler how to feed themselves. Ive danced the happy dance the first time they went potty in their potty chair. Ive seen them get scared the first time and experienced how awesome  that feeling is when your kid runs into your arms like they haven't seen you all day. In a way.. I'm a hoarder. I hoard those special moments.



3. I want to be available. Ive kissed a whole lot of boo boos. Both real and the " i just want to get a band aide " boo boo.. Our 4 yr old Lucy would always tell me " mama..can you kiss it to make it feel better " you know how important that one is for me? Very much.

She came up with a new thing lately .." mama, can you give me something from the kitchen that will make me feel better ".  It's cookies folks. Kiss and cookies..I can't blame her. The sentimental in me, wants to be available.  When they get frustrated, the mama in me can explain that frustrations are a normal thing. That when we fail even if its just putting blocks together , we do it again. I want to be available to encourage them, love on them when you really want to run out the door because stay at home moms can get really busy and tired too. Small and demanding hands that tug on your shirt constantly can be overwhelming..I can tell you that.  Still, I want to be there. I'm a  " huggy" , "kissy" , touchy kinda mommy.  I love my unlimited hugs and kisses all through out the day.



 4. I don't think I can handle being a career woman and raise small ones at the same time. It's just not me and I am okay with that. If you are reading this and you do it well..you deserve a standing ovation and a Starbucks coffee from me. I am bad with certain multitasking tasks.  I have so much respect and admiration for working moms! I still wake up early before the sun shines just like most working moms..sometimes I don't get to nap .. sometimes I get so dead tired as well. But here's what I think I'm not gonna ace it -- to be the domestic diva I want to be. I can't be a career woman when my heart and mind is at home...for now.

 Do I have plans of going back to work outside home? DEFINITELY. Someday. I believe that there will always be time and opportunity to work for me, our kids will not stay little. God is able..He will open doors for me. He called me to be a stay at home momma, He will open that door for me too.


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5. It is economical. Please stay with me and try not to raise an eyebrow. When I became a SAHM , we lived in West Covina, CA and I was working in Los Angeles. The 45 minute commute ( that alone is not cool) becomes an 1 1/2 hour to 2 hours commute. Time and Gas is wasted. I didn't have to keep up with fashion . Not that I am trying to be a monk nowadays but we do try to live simple.

  Considering the gas, time ,babysitter fees  --- with my previous humble ( nice way of saying little ..Ha!)  combined with Rob's previous job, it is really not worth it and not enough. It is not easy to be a single income family, I give you that. Everything is possible when you put your heart with your passion. We are faithful , God never left us. He did provide. We don't have all the luxuries everybody can wish for but we have what we need. God has blessed us in so many ways.

Read my post on: 

6. The rewards. Ive had ( and still have) stressful, exhausted and deprived with sleep days. I don't dwell on those days ( well probably right after venting to Rob) , there are far more benefits to stay at home with them. ( further read : Benefits of Staying at Home ) The happy days and rewards far outweighs all the hard work, sacrifice  and stress.


Lastly , I am NOT JUST a stay at home mom  because  what I do matters. I am here for the those who matter most.. my family  . I will never be in competition with working moms. There should be none. We are all called be good mothers by our Creator.



Be faithful on your calling!














  

14 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your heart! I love how you said "This doesn't mean that my chosen path is better than yours, or my decision is right ..and yours is not. This my calling." EXACTLY! I am of the mind-set that you have to do what is best for your family and your children and we should not judge each other for it. I'm glad to connect with you at the Thrive @ Home Thursday link-up! I am a new follower!

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    1. Hi Sarah, Thank you for the kind words. We do what we have to do and sometimes what works for us will not for another family. We just can't push "our calling" on everybody. I am glad to connect with you too, I'll be visiting your blog soon! Have a blessed weekend!

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  2. Deciding on whether to be a working Mum or a stay at home Mum is certainly personal choice. When we had children I wanted to be there for them - not saying that working Mums aren't there for their children, it's just that I wanted to be there when they needed me. I too wanted to watch them grow and I didn't want other people setting the boundaries for our children, that is the job of the parents and it's not always honoured or respected by others.

    Staying at home is certainly not the easy option as we live on a tight budget and sometimes my head is spinning, but if we raise two people that are happy and comfortable in their own skin an who respect and feel for others then it has all been worth it.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I popped over from the #SHINEBlogHop

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    1. It is always a sensitive topic for most families. I hear you on the head spinning part! it is really worth it.. Thank you so much for stopping by and the kind comment. I do appreciate it ! God bless..

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  3. This is a personal choice and I respect your calling so much. Being a mama is a complicated task. It is not always the easy option and it is very difficult and exhausting. I think others sometimes think we get to stay and watch tv and eat bon bons. LOL. BTW, tried to follow you and each time it came up with errors and said "That page doesn't exist". I didn't know if anyone else was having that concern. Have a beautiful day!

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    1. Hi Elizabeth, you girl made me seriously LAUGH so hard with "bon bons".. Thank you for the very kind comment. I really do appreciate it , as far as following thing is concerned. I tried to remove the "add this" widget or at least edit it..I just couldn't. I do not know how. So what I did was to put a separate Follow me links on each of my list. Hope that works! if not, let me know! and thank you for letting me know. Hope you have a great and blessed weekend too!


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  4. It's fantastic that you guys dared to pursue and figure out how you'd make the choice you wanted to make work. I really admire that you're doing what you wanted and longed to do. It's also so interesting to see how different cultures respond to this. When something is normal and accepted in one country and almost outlawed in another. It's against the law to homeschool in Sweden. But school starts the year your little one turns 7 - so that's a good few years to have them at home for those who want to do that.

    Thanks for linking to the #SHINEbloghop. I really enjoyed reading your post :-)

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    1. Hi Steph, true! My husband and I had a different upbringing and cultures too.. He's American and I'm a Filipina. But we decided to take the good in both cultures and do what we think is best for our family. As far as I remember , Homeschooling is not big in my Country either. We will send our girls to school , and it is a blessing to be able to stay home with them for their young years. And If I'm called to home school them someday, I'll gladly do it for them. Thank you for stopping by!!

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  5. My hands on mothering ends this year with the wedding of my youngest daughter. From this side I can say you will never be sorry you made this decision. I understand there are some it's just not possible for. But I'm ever-so-thankful it was for me. ~Pamela

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    1. Hi Pamela, thank you very much! me too, its hard sometimes but I know it is a blessing that not all can have. God bless..

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  6. Thanks so much for sharing at the Saturday Soiree Blog Party! I love this post and know it blessed others as well! Hope to connect with you there next week. :)

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    1. Count me in Sarah! Appreciate you and your kind comments...hope your having a great Sunday!

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  7. Wonderful post! I'm been a stay-at-home mama for 24 years. I've never regretted it. The time goes too fast.

    I followed the link-up from So Much at Home

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  8. Great post! Thank you for sharing this post at City of Creative Dream's City of Links on Friday! I appreciate you taking the time to party with me. Hope to see you again this week :)

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Thank you for stopping by and know that all of your comments are appreciated !