Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Our Interracial Marriage ..Differently Beautiful.



  When I  re launched my blog last year , my hubby suggested that I write about Interracial Marriage. My response was , I will deeply think about it. As I do not want to sound like an expert on Marriage , like any other marriage we work on our marriage every single day. During highs and lows we are in this together.

 We live in a society now that Interracial Marriage is far more accepted than let's say 50 yrs ago. It actually was against the law. However , there are still some naysayers out there. 



If you may ask ..yes we do get the stares sometimes. I do not wish to know what's on every body's mind , since we are all entitled to our own opinion. It becomes comical at times, when they would stare at us first..then the glance would shift to our girls. Most of the times with those stares , I am tempted  to say .." Aren't they just beautiful  ? " . But we would just smile at them. and we get the  " you guys have beautiful kids". ( of course in my head , I silently say..you dare not say anything wrong about our kids or you would see the mama bear in me). It is different when you have kids, you always have the "ninja mode" , to protect them from cynical comments.

Believe it or not , when we first met and started dating.. I've encountered a LOT of ridiculous questions, comments and opinions.

Lets begin shall we?

I will put this on top as this was the funniest and most ridiculous question I've got. Ever.

1. So khit , does he smell bad? because you know , foreigners are known to smell when they don't shower . They have a smell , a distinct smell.

----> REALLY?  Well newsflash my friend. Anyone , who doesn't shower and take care of themselves will stink. and you know what I smell in this -- the scent of insensitivity.

2. Marrying an American is your ticket to a good life .

----> I have heard comments and stories about this a lot too. That oftentimes ,  It is perceived that entering a  mixed marriage is a passport to end a less fortunate life. Marry for the right reason. LOVE.  not because the other person , will help your family out of poverty or earn more money.  I had this conversation with a friend when one of her relatives started dating an American. While again dating online might not all be success stories , still when I heard what her relatives had to say with the relationship I was a appalled.  .." how sure are you that this American will help you get out of this poorness , what if he is just using you ". Who's using who here? Working hard will get you out of an impoverished life.



3. That my husband had missed the boat on dating and could not just find a white girl to date and marry.

----> So I have wrote about how we met ( you can read it here : How mom met dad ). We were both not looking for a serious relationship when we met. We are both cautious to begin with because we had been "burned" and hurt by our past relationship. And when we started out as friends..I was not the only girl he was talking to. So it is not like he ran out of ladies..But just like what he always tell me..The heart wants what the heart wants. Rob wasn't out there to find him a white girl , but couldn't . .He found me because he wants a girl who will deeply love him no matter what.



4. Green card.

----> Marrying for a green card does happen and I am in no position to judge anyone who chose this path. Rob and I were not immune to this question.  I once told my hubby back in the day that if he thinks I'm in this relationship for "that".  He needs to turn his back and just stop dating me. .  I am very lucky to have a man , that I didn't have to prove my intention and vice versa. .He knows my values and stand on marriage and I know his.



5. Mixed Marriage is hard with all the differences.

----> As with the same race marriage..all marriages have differences. We love and embrace our  differences in culture and beliefs. sometimes language barrier too. He is very respectful of my culture and we both do our best to be open minded.  I remember telling him all the superstitious beliefs we have , and he told me that some he doesn't understand at all. He is respectful in a way that he let me do certain things ( example " positioning our daughters bed in our bedroom ) without laughing at me or any ridicule. Our differences are not a big deal to us , not even a major topic in our house. If I have to say it still,  we are just a normal couple and family.  



6. Why marry an American or a Filipino?

---> why not? Well, he is handsome obviously .Rob  is one of the most calm , relaxed and good person you'll ever known. and I like calm..I like peace and relaxed ..and the good hearted man in him is just a win win for me. I love his sense of humor , and I love to laugh.  He makes me happy. We got married because we love each other. We respect , trust and honor each other. We understood each other even when words are not spoken. We got married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. 


In love, there is no label ..there is no .." white" , " brown" or " black". 

That is why I love 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Truly , we can not please everybody. It is okay to be curious but it is not okay to just flat out spew hate. If someday we'll run across a person who disapproves of our marriage , I'll be glad to tell them' spend a day with us. We are just like any couple. We have differences but we are differently beautiful. If you can not look past our skin color and that "race thing" , you will never see us at our best. 



My beautiful family...





If you are new here and would like to read more about me and what's my blog about..

Read it here : About Me



I would love to connect with you! 








9 comments:

  1. I enjoyed how you shed light on interracial marriage and the stereotypes that are associated with the marriage. You certainly do have a beautiful family and I pray that we all learn acceptance and provide grace to all we come in contact with. Visiting you today from Whimsical Wednesday! Blessings, Mary!

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    1. Thank you for stopping by.. I appreciate it a lot. God bless Mary !

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  2. What a beautiful family you have!!! My first time here and thank you for linking up!

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    1. Hi Rachel ! Thank you for stopping by.. I love your blog and your prayers are wonderful. Love the prayers for when you can't sleep. God bless!

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  3. Thanks so much for linking up to Accidentally Wonderful Wednesday!
    http://www.accidentallywonderful.blogspot.com/2014/02/accidentally-wonderful-wednesday-6.html

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  4. you are so right, love has no color. love is just love. my boyfriend and I are of different religions, and sometimes that makes things hard. but mostly it makes things interesting, right?

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  5. You all look beautiful together, Khit :-)

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  6. Hi Khit,
    Your family is beautiful! I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. :) I'm Marissa, we are both mutual friends of Katherina. You have a lovely blog and your food looks delicious! Looking forward to getting to know you!

    Blessings

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