My girls and I had a great conversation about motherhood. A quick background, my daughters are 9 and 11 years old. You might wonder why am I having these conversations at such a young age. Let me assure you that the conversation was not initiated by me. I love this stage where their eyes are noticing certain things that they normally do not care about when they were much younger. We've had several discussions about social issues. It's kind of hard to filter what is going on in our society nowadays. However, I do believe in "controlled exposure". Instead of not talking about certain modern-day issues or topics, I would rather have the opportunity to first teach my kids. The world will have a lot to say anyway. I can pick and choose (when age is appropriate) how I can explain certain things, what examples I give, and stories I share. If you are a bit confused about what I am referring to as social issues, just turn the TV on, and watch the news.
Back to motherhood, I was asked what age is okay to get married. I answered it to the best of my ability and that question was followed by, "if it is okay to adopt instead of having their own baby". That question opened a lot of further conversations that ended up with me telling them that I do believe with every fiber of my being that they will be both great mothers regardless of what God will gift them. After all, God already knows their future. God knew them before they were born (Read Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:16).
When I told them about them being great mothers someday, my mind transported me to the time when they will become mothers. I will certainly be an intentional grandma and supportive mom (and will try not to hover). Then I thought about the struggles mom faces every day. The mental load it takes to raise a family. The rollercoaster emotions of motherhood. The good and the bad. The bone-tired and hard yet rewarding journey of motherhood. I will pray that when that season of life comes for them, they will have a good stronghold of their calling and faith so that the insecurities and guilt will not take a foothold in their lives. I came up with 25 (I'm sure there's a lot more you can add to this) healthy mindset reminders for all moms. These are things that I always try to remind myself. I also it a CALL TO ACTION, hoping that this list will reach many mommies and will somehow touch their journey. Feel free to share on your social media!
1. No matter how busy family life gets, don't lose sight of yourself.
2. Prioritize your marriage. It will posture your kids to what a healthy relationship looks like.
3. Do not wait to lose that extra weight, Get in that picture. Post it on social media. Your kids will be grown-ups someday and will love those photos with you.
4. Stop comparing yourself, your kids, and your family with what you see on social media. Those are all staged in someways.
5. Do not overthink and overshare on social media, the majority of those people are not your people.
6. It's okay to want time away from your kids. A break or a mommy time-out makes all the difference.
7. Stop explaining yourself to everybody. The way you eat, parent, dress, your decisions, and your faith. You will be so much/happier.
8. When you don't agree with another mom or do not agree with how she handles her family, refuse the urge to offer a bit of unsolicited advice.
9. Your conviction is not another mom's conviction.
10. Inspire, don't criticize.
11. Hard days will pass.
12. Always find things to be grateful for. Practice this every day. It will make you feel so much lighter,
13. Let it go. Some fights are not worth your energy and time.
14. When another mom vents to you about her day, just listen and be compassionate.
15. Not unless you were asked for your advice or opinion, listen intently.
16. Do not parent other mom's kid. Not unless they ask you to, remember they are not your monkeys. Not your circus.
17. We will always find an excuse. Don't give up on your dreams, goals, and yourself.
18. Raising your children purposely and intentionally is the greatest contribution you can give to your society.
19. Do not gossip.
20. Eat healthily and stay active. Yes, you can eat healthily. Yes, you can still change your lifestyle.
21. Progress is better than perfection.
22. Surround yourself with people that bring the best out of you.
23. Set boundaries.
24. Be kind to yourself.
25. Difficult times do not equal to impossible.
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