Things You Just Don't Say to a Momma of Two and more Kids - A Bountiful Love

Things You Just Don't Say to a Momma of Two and more Kids

Let me start by saying I am amazed at mothers of more than two kiddos.  Whether you are a stay at home or a working mom, it's a tough gig. There are just certain things that you just can't say to mommies ( and daddies of large families) I am a momma of only two girls and I am not immune to it.

1.  You are pregnant again?

 I got this comment when I got pregnant with our second child Lily, for Pete's's just my second child..two years apart. Where are the Congratulations? so I'm sorry to say that not unless my uterus is screaming for HELP, I think I can have as many kids as we want.

2. Are all of them planned?

Some people deserve a " None of your business " response It doesn't matter planned or not, all parents of large families CAN NOT imagine their lives without ALL of their children.

3. You must always be tired but you actually seem happy.

Because we are happy. I think if you are busy judging other people, you should examine yourself too.

4. Wow, your hands are really full ( with a smug look)

I got this comment from an older lady while grocery shopping with two kids, one has a slight fit ( define slight -- the absence of ear piercing scream and arm flailing action). Yes, it is full and so is my heart.

5. You must be having intercourse every day.

Wouldn't it be lovely? It releases endorphins anyways.  But no, that would be nice..but no.

6. Are you finally done?

Hmm, it is usually tempting to reply: No, I'm just starting! But again, please refer to #1.

7. You must be on food stamps?

You have no idea how hard each of the parents of large families works. If they need help, who are we to judge?

8. I didn't invite you because I figured your busy...

It is the thought that counts, and there is a lot of truth to that. Busy or not, it is nice to be remembered.  We love to socialize too.

 With the society we live in right now, People have more power to express their opinion on certain things ..freedom of speech is okay and great. I think respecting other peoples opinion is really good, but do we know when to stop and know our boundaries? Tact is sometimes not practiced. : A Good example: notice some of the online forums or articles, read some of the online comments as well, you will be alarmed with how other people can be so unkind. It is really easy because you are behind the screen, you can say whatever you want to say.

With having the baby # 1, people you know, close friends and relatives will celebrate for you. They are excited for you. Maybe the same with having baby#2 ( with mine, I noticed a decline.). Imagine having a baby number #3, #4 and so on.. you will see a decline and hear hurtful jokes and comments. While it is wonderful to have people celebrate with you, know that it is not your sole purpose. It is nice to share the joy with everybody, but what happens when they stop celebrating with you? It is normal to be upset of course but then again..look how God has blessed you with little ones. He entrusted you with a new life, with children who will always fill our hearts.

Think of most unkind comments as misinformation. They are just misinformed. ( and curious). So every time, you encounter one of those " is your life chaotic with this many kids" question.. it is a good opportunity to educate ( and answer politely -- as hard as it can be..) them about how good you are at scheduling or budgeting.

Keep the smiles even when you get unruly comments, questions or when you need to announce yet another pregnancy. It is a blessing that not so many people are privileged to see.

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