Let us first define fair weather friends ...
We all have encountered them at one point in our lives right? They can also be family and relatives. It is very easy to get mad and choose the path of closing your doors. I think there are two types of fair weather friends / people:
- there are people who shows up when it is convenient for them then bail out at the sign of trouble ( see meaning above) , and
- there are people that will do everything to help you out to a point of over exerting themselves but when time comes that they are the ones who need the help-- they refuse your help. They hide and they don't let you help them
When I was single ( and crazy).. I am very quick to open my wallet, lets just say money and eating out with the friends I love is not an issue. . Well it became an issue when I got married and have kids. I slowly noticed the disappearing act. As any people with family would know.. as soon as you get married. Everything changes.. there are no yours or mine.. and all of your priorities will change. In fairness to my friends, I did change too. I was no longer willing to pay the tab all the time. I don't do "special request" , as much as I want to anymore. . I became a stay at home mom and my family will ALWAYS COME FIRST.
Did I get upset and got hurt with people who remembers me when circumstances are profitable? Yes. Did I blame myself that they acted the way they did for a long time was because of my own doing? Sure. I let it happened. Did I regret it? No. I learned and value real friendships now. Meaningful ones.
These may not work for everybody. It did worked for me..
1. Pray for them. Its hard I know.. to pray for someone who remembers you on good times only. Now let me ask you this? Have you ever thought on how we only sometimes pray when we really..really need something from God. Because He is good and loves us unconditionally. We are not perfect and that is why we need to pray. Pray for them that they may experience God's grace when their difficult times arises. Pray for their blessings too. Prayer is the most important gift you can ever bless a friend with. Pray for guidance and wisdom too.
" A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope." -- Quote Source
2. You have a choice. If you choose to close your doors , if you choose to distance yourself .that is totally up to you. At the end of the day, you get to decide on what makes you happy and on how you want to be treated. If you choose to surround yourself with the people who loves you at your best and more so at your worst..You have all the right. Nobody likes a one way relationship anyway.
3. Think happy , that you are their sunshine when all they have is a rain cloud.
4. Define and Set your limits. When trying to loose weight, you set a goal and set limits. A successful weight loss involves the absence of deprivation. When you feel deprive , it is a recipe for a drawback in my opinion. It is like ..I'm on a low carb diet but I do love breads..but my goal is to loose weight.. so I will limit my bread in take in a day. You should know when and what is "enough". If it weighs you down and does more "emotional withdrawals" than investing on your relationship..( refer to #2)
5.Do not let it change who you are. If you are a truly giving and thoughtful person, don't let those fair weather friends rob you off of future friendship. Life is really good ..you will meet and will encounter a whole lot of good people. .and meet new friends.
6. As for the type 2 fair weather people ( see my two types above) , refer to number 1. .Pray for them. They are who they are..When you want to help them in return of them being helpful to you when you needed them, and when they refuse to accept your help..as frustrating as it can be. Just give them space and time. Sometimes, it is all they need too. Maybe they will come around..maybe not. Pray..it is a precious gift you can bless them with.
"Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers."
- Proverbs 18:24
- Proverbs 18:24
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